False Advertising

So Squirmy's going to be starting day care in January. All the day care centers around here actually call themselves "pre-schools" so that all the parents around here can double-think their way to the idea that pre-school is like, necessary or something. Problems with that?

• Going to work if you want to or need to fine
• Staying home is also fine (I personally dig the 'sticking it to the man' aspect of this choice- but if it's not for you, sweet)
• Day care is fine
• Kids don't need school when they're 18 months old
• Capitalist consumption is bad.

Seriously, there is so much to consume to make sure your child grows up on the straight and narrow. Fortunately, you only have to be a semi-conscious individual to just ignore the shit out most of it.

Anyway, Squirms was all ready to go to one center, until I found out that I had been duped! Duped I tell you! This place was no ordinary day care center. Oh no, it was a FUNDAMENTALIST CHRISTIAN ACADEMIE FOR TOTS. And believe me, as I know you do, if I had known this was what that place was like I would never have enrolled her there in the first place. It was never mentioned to me. It was never raised at all. The place was new (since May 2009) and it wasn't on their website at all at first. I think as the business began operations, they built up their website to include this small fact. Because they are in the business of providing bourgey parents with a soul-soothing academic environment, of course, they have a "curriculum". Let's take a gander at their "curriculum":

"...presents the universe as the direct creation of God and refutes the man-made idea of evolution.

“The lessons flow from the Word of God, through the heart of the teacher, to the heart of the student.”

“Students need a realistic view of history, government, geography, and economics based upon the foundational truths of the Scriptures.”

“…uplifting history texts that give students an historical perspective and instill within them an intelligent pride for their own country and a desire to help it back to its traditional values.”

“They give a solid foundation in all areas of science -- a foundation firmly anchored to Scriptural truth.”

“But as Christians, we still believe that the Bible provides the only credible explanation for the universe, of man, and of language.”

The first clue I got about the God stuff was when I went to pick her up after a trial visit one day, and there was some Jesus music playing. I tried to think charitable thoughts like "maybe this is a CD with all kinds of cultural songs on it and they will also play Hava Nagila and Frere Jacques". Then I saw a poster with their theme of the week. The theme was sharing. The poster said "sharing is a biblical concept". Then I looked up the website again and found that shit.

And so today, on the 150th anniversary of the publication of Charles Darwin's 'On the Origin of Species', I would like to say a very hearty 'go fuck yourself' to Dr and Mrs Arlin Horton of the Abeka Curriculum, and the insane schools that use it.

Needless to say, I withdrew her and she's going somewhere else.